Talk about touchy.

If there is one thing that constantly stalks my thoughts, it's the Israel/Palestinian controversy.
So many opinions, too many sides to an already "Too-big issue". Is it really a religious dispute or does it reach much farther than we perceive? Is it all politics and regional control and intimidation? Might I suggest, as mentioned, are factors in the "Too-big issue".

Yet, what am I to do. The young adult from Canada, just sickened by the pictures I see. And sure, some might suggest, you could find disturbing images in western societies. But, Never have I ever walked down the street and been prosecuted right out for my "assumed" beliefs. Who am I to say something is wrong? Right?

I am only a college student in Ontario, in the suburbs of Toronto, also known as the GTA (Greater Toronto Area). I don't experience sniper towers or threats of security forces taking my or a loved ones children hostage, to cowardly use as a shield. That is not my world. That is not my reality. Yet, the images I see haunt the deep realms of my heart. I often use empathy before radical doubt to analyze a situation, one that is social anyways. Lets put my self in the shoes of a Jewish settler. And not even one of the extreme, just a casual citizen of Israel that has immigrated there with in the last 50 years. I would imagine they take great pride in both their faith and their culture, as everyone in this world has the right too. They as many groups of faith and culture, mourn and remember the unforgettable past. I would see the high light of my past as the holocaust, as it was then the focus of persecution was essentially realized on a global scale.(And even as they taught us in my catholic school, the holocaust has taught us how the world requires tolerance and that everyone has an objective value with its self should be treasured and respected.)
I would take pride and display confidence in the arrival of my fellow comrades in a place we could call our own...A mother land.And every time I would think of my mother land, I would think of the United Nations and the American government. For their great contribution and dedication to the place we would call home would be only be possible all because of them. Every time I would think of my past I would think back to the historical global event that the entire world reached out and aided a victim of genocide. Even though, their views were not directly related to the views of the jewish community, they were evidently aware of what was right and was wrong.And with that I would be thankful, for every one on this planet, regardless of who they were. For it was the actions of those who were aware of what was right and what wrong, that made the example for which a state aided by the same people should be ran. And everyday I would wake up and thank thy almighty god for those of every race and faction, for it is a sign, that regardless of what was right and wrong, or certain or uncertain, that we are all in this together.

Yes, that is how I see the average person, and if I was a Jewish settler, those would be my thoughts... I would imagine, then again I have not been subjected to the cultural conditioning and they don't have Christmas there, so I am clueless really.

I can now try the same exercise, but from the Arab citizen with in Israel or even Gaza and or the west bank.

My first immediate instinct as the same for Israeli's, is the overwhelming sense of pride. I also imagine that I would be brought up everyday, praising Allah before all others and be thankful for the gift of life let alone a family if it were applicable. Yet after the pride and culture shock of being an arab in what else but another western occupied land, my immediate instinct would be, I have nothing possessive. Maybe a few physical things that I could carry dear to my heart and could be transported by hand easily, I also think about the scrutiny I would face from opposing forces and the people that currently occupy the land, which my ancestors would have lived comfortably on. Yet, my heart, along with the grace of Allah would tell me to love all humans and aid my understanding that all would be judged individually. However I feel my surrounding would expose me to the radical ideas of those who understand what is "right" and what is "wrong". I would fight my instinct to oppose them, yet their reasoning and explanation for their radical ideas seem so pristine, followed with even some of the teachings in my holy book, it would all make sense to fight and even possibly kill.

It is much easier for me to put my self in the shoes or sandals of a jewish settler versus an arab who has occupied the land for such a measurable time. I believe there is the possibility for peace in the land of the holy. Yet, the forces that be will always use the rude sense of reality to manipulate peoples opinions whether they are a few miles of a monumental event or thousands of kilometers from an unspoken murder fest.

Oh, how the wind speaks multitudes.

It's a chilly one tonight, as is my Budweiser. Been home for about an hour, since my arrival, I have done nothing but shower and chug back a few beers. Sometimes I think to my self. 'Is it bad, I come home and one of my priorities is to have a cold one?' 'Am I going to far, by having a few drinks by my self.' However sip by sip, I relentlessly put all the negativity to disposal. This is life, not TV. I mean, if I really had a problem, for one, I would have not bought beer. It would be a major error in the ways of a 'true' alcy. To be honest I haven't even touched my petite baggy of sub-china greenery. Not now, not yet. Soon. Oddly enough, its one of the only substances in the world, where a user can sit with it in front of them, and actually wait for use, in the hopes they wont waste a trip contrary to crack, which doesnt last 5 minutes in the hands of its user. But enough about the substance abuse.

Well today would be the conclusion of my 'first week' of school (considering how slack frosh week was). If there is one thing for certain, it's the morale I have for school. I can't even imagine my self in high school, let alone grade school, yet my mother would assure you I did a 180 and rocketed 100 feet in the air. But eh, now I'm just another student, no special treatment, fair game all around.

I feel as if the characters I meet in my classes are a mysterious bunch. I am use to predicting peoples habits or attitudes, yet this journalism crowd, they are a hard bunch, or at least some of them. I often find my self questioning other peoples knowledge or at least observing how ignorant they are. Usually a few sentences is all it takes, yet once again, these are a mysterious bunch. When questions are asked in class, it is rare to hear a voice, at least when we aren't talking about shenanigans and pot. But is that possibly better? I mean they are journalists students, they should be listening not talking...right?

If there is one thing I feel like I have come to grounds with, is the category of journalism some of the students are attempting to get into. The first and most obvious, is the sports guys, the ones who want to be on TSN and will watch every reply in full attentiveness. Which is I suppose on its own, a real career. However, the thought of following a puck/ball/pigskin or whatever it is and having to remember hundreds of redundant names and numbers, many of which will disappear with in a few years of play in a serious league. It takes more than balls and men in shorts to get me in the mood to write a 'good' story. However, in case a truly human element falls in to play, like an unlikely duo doing something for the good a community, maybe just maybe I can cut and form into something print worthy. But as I was alluding to, I am more of a bullets flew, secret endorsement exposed, revolutionary 'gang'( I know, super hypocritical, but its how they will be displayed regardless of my opinion) threatens to hijack peaceful protest, kind of journalist.
Of course there is the caked up dames ready for the tv, if only they knew how to speak. But kudos to them, they've made it this far, who knows maybe one day the will be a colleague of mine.
But then there is the truly down to earth people like my self. Some outspoken- some quiet as hell, and with reason. I too would be full of anxiety and and enormously shy, if it weren't for the luxury of meeting someone so like my self during orientation. I must confess, I molded into the college scene easily. Which I can credit to my new attitude for introducing my self professionally to everyone (which I will have to do one day.) I am the anxiety type, under the right conditions. However as of late, I have felt obligated to preparing my self for possible awkward situations with others.

Which is very easy to do, when you are stoned off your tree in a college environment. I must admit, after years of indulging the herb, I have mastered decieving those around me, that I am just as level as everyone else (taking in the consideration that the counterpart is not as big of user as of my self.) Some may call me silly, some may say I should prioritize. However I feel it is an excellent way to mend your mind to dealing with difficult human interactions.

I desire more nights like this, crisp clean air, whisked by the wind, helplessly finding its self in your breathing path. Sure it's cold, but I have a redundant amount of sweaters amassed in my closet and god knows how high the heap of toques and winters hats truly is. One thing I notice since the void of working in a warehouse. Is my appetite for music has came back. As saddening as it is to say, I have departed deeply from my rhythmic pass. I feel as if I have listened to it all, which is certainly not true, which is why I find my self, looking for new music, but music that relates to what I have listened and enjoyed in the past.

I guess I will have to invest in an mp3, for these next few months need a soundtrack indefinitely.

Nine years later, one problem, one solution.

Once again the memories from that tragic day nearly a decade ago, are remembered and lives lost honored. Churches filled, school children in assembly, workers in a moment of silence and some victims family member making a private prayer, asking how its only been nine years. Of course it goes with out saying, there are still those who empathize with those who have been hurt (some them selves are ones who have been hurt), yet the struggle for more of an answer will never parish. The questions will not fall like the towers did. The trivia will not disappear like the plane from the pentagon.

It seems the further away we move from the events of that fateful 2001 that bush Jr first took office, we also become more distant from the explanation. The only product that has come from 911, is two wars, a media collection turned on its rear end and the inevitable desensitization of a nation or a collection of nations for that matter.

I often think...

"Here it is. This article could easily be the precursor to the next war. It's ready to blow."

And yes. It is true, it is most likely the product of the fear mongering. Though I can't help but think: did Generation X experience this? I mean what about the baby boomers? They were brought up on the cold war, should they not be expecting a massive world wide religion-nation war that would reach every corner of the planet?

Though this is not the 60's. Protests no longer end peacefully (with the exception of the events in Ohio.)

This is not the 70's. Protests got violent in the 70's but was most definitely teen angst and mob mentality based. Though some would argue, this was the true enlightening era, with the beginning of the moon landing skeptics and the fateful day JFK took the last ride in a convertible...Ever.

This is not the 80's. This is the one era that I see closely resembling of the last 9 years. We had the Persian gulf war, which in retrospect was very much blanketed by many useless reasons much like ours, and it was the conflict between the Russians and the Afghan militants. However it is easily comprehensive that Americans were doing business. And not just doing business, but making business. Creating a client, one that would eventually return to haunt them (or so we were told).

It is 27 minutes to 12, where it will no longer be the anniversary of that fateful event. If there is one thing I ask of anyone tonight, or in the future on remembrance of that wretched day - Remember, it was not about me, you, your parents, Americans, Afghans, Iraqi's, President Bush, Obama, Jews, Muslims, Christians. No.
Just think about what those who died that day, would want for the world today.

Would they want a war in Afghanistan?

Would they approve of the invasion of Iraq?

How would they feel about Israel's invasive and demeaning actions towards Arabs?

How would they feel if you told them 4000+ Americans have died in the justification of their own victimized death.

Well, we don't know. This is certain. But we can all use a little empathy, specifically in situations as such.
Rest in Peace, Truth will be known.
You will be justified.

The eve of everything.

Here we are on this chilly September night, but it's okay for it is the eve of everything. The cold has always complimented what I think is tasteful for dare I say the word, style. It gives me an excuse to wear my cotton, button up the middle shirts. All of them being plaid, there is just something about them that comforts me immensely. I think it was all my time spent at the guardian, hang around a bunch of collars for long enough and you will be putting yours on extra tight. Though they kind of lack their eye catching factor with out the plaid. Don't get excited folks, that's all I got, I'm not exactly sensible when it comes to what you choose to hide your body with.

It was this afternoon I had an epiphany regarding Disney. In the smoke filled room I watched fantasia in quite a haze. Initially I did not expect the classic symbolism in the movies from the popular franchise ( or the franchise from the popular movies rather). However, from the first scene I felt as though there was a character in the film we just did not see. The one thing I remember reflecting upon, things just happened, in a retro nature sort of way. It was void of the criticism and laws of science, though the over whelming gesture that things which could not be explained, which was closely followed by a whirlwind of new questions for the displays had this tendency move quite rapidly. Which evidently resulted in the expression of my very thoughts I am writing now.

As humans and like most animals on this planet, we are curious. Very curious. I often think of the nature of things as being a scripted law for the universe its self. It would not be criminal to say that all the answers we seek are hidden in nature, would it?

We wake up day to day, playing a constant game of trivial pursuit with life. Sometimes asking the easy questions, some times answering the very hard ones. Though some days we ask useless questions and essentially waste some disk space. Some days however, we wake up and ask all the right questions and in return receive a barrage of answers with a Molotov cock tail of questions ready to spread like wild fire. But you must ask your self something, which I find my self only recently, asking every day.

Why is that everyday, you wake up and you are still you? To the very edge of your existence you remain your self, just learning along the way. I often ask my self, what in nature possessed some force to induce our complex multi-cell organism to remember almost everything, and somethings forever. When was the moment that we were first able to retain everything and adapt off your pure knowledge, not rely on evolutions slow process.

Then I thought about it, could the planet, or possibly even the universe have induced such a complex system. I mean us humans, we are not exactly your average super Nintendo. Our brains are more like super computers. And our actions, very unpredictable considering the 6.6 billion of us all think, say, do and act differently. We are the ultimate variable to all of this. Or at least that's I'm on the brink of concluding on.

School begins in just about 12 hours from now yet, it will be hours early that I will arrive on campus, with lines waiting for me in the hoards. Of course, the first day comes and I don't have my books, yet one of the few people I met in my orientation seems just as lost as my self, which is reassuring to say the least. It is better to be confused in a group rather then by your self I suppose. Sometimes the variable of just having another persons questions along with your own, can save you both a lot of time.

I am hopeful for these next few months may carry a heavy burden of work load and may pose a threat to the balance of all aspects in my life. I have had to get my act together before, yet this time it feels like there will be no need for double takes or 'too late' revelations. Yet the stress has seemed to kick in to high gear, I feel that I must work to just get some of the weight of my shoulders. The stuff that is malleable at least. No excuses, it's how you have to do things. If these body's are truly vehicles for the soul never let some do the driving, take your wheel by both hands and tell it where to go.

Change is healthy.

Well, there may in fact be leaves abundantly littered across the ground in the neighborhood, however summer seems like its dropping off a late season heat wave. But seeing past the 35 Degree weather(Celsius), the last few party's of the summer and the amount of people fleeing to the muskokas for one last rip on the lake, the smell of new school clothes and wal-mart running rampant with mothers redundantly spending their hard earned cash on a bunch of pencils and gel-pens which will not last till September. I have also felt people are almost insisting fall is here through this heat wave, as I am seeing people in long sleeved shirts and pants every where, as if we live in California.

These last few days, my mood has been elevated for the simple fact I am no longer spending my entire evenings, in a carbon box (warehouse). No more propane fumes constantly raping my lungs of activity(not that they weren't being harassed all ready). No longer do I watch the sun set from a trailer dock. What can I say? I do not miss having to pick black build ups in my nostrils, fusing them selves with my snot. It was not a pleasurable experience, as I am sure reading that sentence its self, must have not been too enjoyable. It was only yesterday after being home for an hour or two (returning from my new job as a burger artist), that it really clicked in, I was for the first time in a long time, enjoying a weekday evening, the thought seemed so foreign. I became ecstatic sitting on the computer with my tall glass of milk and consuming my left overs. The sun barely making it through the blinds, I was nearly giggling to my self, as it seemed so foreign. Hell I was home, on an evening, BY MY SELF, and on top of all of that... I took a nap!

The truth is, it was a common evening for me to do all those things, and it would have been boring as restringing a guitar, but when you enjoy the freedom, to dwell in your thoughts possibly under the influence of a few friends, it is quite enjoyable. But like the same slogan Obama was labeled with.

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Barack Obama

Nice concept, but you had it better that other time.

Americans... still believe in an America where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do.
Barack Obama